Rester soi en toutes circonstances


Je sors d'une séance de coaching qui m'a inspiré le sujet d'aujourd'hui car finalement, combien d'entre nous, avons redouté d'être nous-mêmes quel que soit le groupe dans lequel nous évoluons ? En effet, qui n'a jamais retenu des paroles trop franches, un rire trop "gras", des gestes trop larges, de peur d’être "trop" ou "pas assez", selon les codes afin de "rentrer dans le moule" ? Qui n'a jamais eu l'impression de ne pas être à sa place, ou pas complètement soi face à certaines personnes ? Qu'est-ce qui fait que nous n'osons pas finalement ? Est-ce un manque de confiance en soi ou tout simplement une appartenance inadaptée à un groupe ? Pour mieux expliciter mon propos, je prendrai l'image du loup, car comme lui, nous avons gardé notre instinct clanique qui nous pousse à vivre en groupe. Mais, contrairement au lupus qui vit exclusivement dans sa meute, nous Humains, nous ne pouvons évoluer qu'en multipliant les expériences d'un groupe à l'autre. Eh oui, trouver son clan reste notre "priorité" mais surtout une liberté de choix ! Et c'est bien là toute la prouesse d'adaptation dont nous faisons preuve : être en lien avec les autres tout en restant relié à soi ! C'est ainsi que nous arrivons à comprendre, qu'il existe des groupes de cœur et d'autres de contraintes dans lesquels nous pouvons vivre une expérience sans pour autant nous trahir :) Voici quelques étapes utiles pour défricher ce terrain : 1) Connaître votre système de valeurs. Je vous propose maintenant de les lister une par une sur papier. Ce qui permettra d'une part, de les clarifier (quitte à les faire évoluer au fil du temps) et d'autre part, de commencer à cartographier votre identité. 2) Répertorier les groupes dans lesquels vous évoluez et les hiérarchiser en fonction de vos valeurs. Plus la cote est éloignée, plus la cabriole d'adaptabilité me semble complexe ; car bousculer ses valeurs trop souvent finit par nous "désaxer" et nous éloigner de notre identité profonde... Cet exercice vous permettra probablement de faire le tri dans vos relations et ne garder que les cercles qui résonnent avec votre Être. Surtout n'oubliez pas que, si certaines contraintes vous obligent à côtoyer des personnes revêches à votre système de valeurs, rien ne vous oblige à prendre les propos de l'Autre comme vous appartenant. 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src="file:///C:/Users/monya/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image001.png" o:title=""></v:imagedata> </v:shape><![endif][if !vml][endif] en proposant, par exemple, de différer une discussion, une réponse, ou coupez respectueusement une conversation si vous sentez que c'est nécessaire.


3) Enfin, faire le point de vos réseaux personnels. Ce qui vous permettra d'améliorer le lien qui vous unit à l'Autre et peut-être même que vous serez surpris(e) du nombre plus important de gens qui vous entourent et sur qui vous pouvez compter sans avoir à vous soucier de leur jugement. L'idée est simple, mettez un nom en face de la classification suivante : - Avec untel, j'aime simplement passer un moment - avec untel, j'aime échanger sur plusieurs sujets et demander conseil - avec untel, je peux me confier sans hésiter - avec untel, je demande son avis éclairé sur tel projet - avec untel, j'envisage de partager des vacances, des soirées, des voyages, etc.… - avec untel, je garde respectueusement mes distances


Que remarquez-vous dans cette liste ? Y a-t-il un lien entre les différents noms ? Y a-t-il des noms qui se répètent ? etc.…

J'espère que ces quelques pistes de réflexion, vous auront aidé à avancer vers celle ou celui que vous souhaitez Être !

Prenez soin de vous et à très vite :)



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En attendant prenez soin de vous.

Monya



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